Starting it off...Finally.

Day six into the new year's resolution. Some things are going well, some are well...still at a bit of standstill. For instance the daily updates are once again in the new year, as they were last year, now six days behind. A wise person once told me the definition of insanity is expecting different results when we enact the same behaviors. I think there is something to be said for the anxiety I feel that can be somewhat debilitating. There is a weird fear of failure. I know in my honest and forthright thoughts if I continue down the path of procrastination and fear, nothing will change, and will in fact, probably get worse. But by making the actions I need to succeed there is still the chance of failure. So I am left with what in no way should be a dilemma, either way the worst could happen, but at least in one direction there is the opportunity of growth, happiness and successful contentment. So it seems silly and absolutely, well, stupid to not at least give it a try. I tell my students every day they can do this! They can succeed! But I get anxious, lose my breath (and not in the good way!) and find myself paralyzed with fear. Ack! What a terrible feeling. And I know I'm not the only one who's realized and experienced this moment. There are lots of people out there who for one reason or another stay stuck in ruts. Blame the economy, blame the family, blame the world. But really, none of those are to blame. We are. I am. So here's to day one of a journey that could take us to great places or knock us flat on our asses. The old joke, "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at at time." Is my new motto. And "Positive Outcomes Only!" which I'm stealing from a new guilty factor tv show (because a girl's gotta have her vices), are my new mottos. I would even have the acronim for the latter inked on my body if it didn't mean I'd be walking around with the letters P.O.O. on my skin. So here are today's projects;
1.Contact the IRS and figure out the forms I'm supposed to be filling out.
2.Read Jobs vs. Careers.
3.Upload the rest of the pics for my website (including photographing and editing the old portfolio)
4.E-mailing profs to figure out what I need to do to get moving forward on the thesis.
5.Get list together of dissertations/thesis to read at UO next week.
6.Budget!
7.Go Running.
8.Tomorrow's to do list!
8.Make fabulous dinner for me and the bf.
9.Breathe! One day at a time kids, one day at a time :)
10.Figure out when to get hair done, because I think I was doing better as a blonde :)